Have you ever gotten on the internet, searched for self-esteem, and read through the results? I just searched "self-esteem" on a search engine. I found a thousand and one social media posts, blog posts, and articles about how to change my body, diet, and life to have "good" or "high" self-esteem.

My search results have me thinking, why does someone have to make a considerable change to feel better about who they are? I get that there are things that everyone can do to feel better in their body, their life, and their work, but is it so hard to find a positive self-concept without a radical change?

I think there might be a shortcut. Not a magic pill or anything but a way to feel good about ourselves as we are growing and changing instead of waiting for this life revolution and a brand new self. Maybe there are small things we can do as we learn to accept ourselves that will make things feel better now. I don't think that a person needs a radical change in their life to have a favorable view of themselves, AKA "good self-esteem."

As part of the conceptualization of the Helm Planner, I interviewed Mary Beth Somich, an LPC who works to de-stigmatize mental health in her private practice, Your Journey Through, PLLC, based in North Raleigh and Wake Forest. Mary Beth's feedback made me think about how to cultivate a healthy self-concept.

When discussing how a planner can impact a person's mental health, she said, "it can be easy to confuse your self-worth with your achievements. In this sense, it's just as important to list all of the qualities that make you the person you are and have inherently allowed you to accomplish those achievements."

Focusing on change and productivity can have a low-key negative impact on your self-concept. Hear me out, when goals are set, striving can become about accomplishments and not about living genuinely and taking care of your whole self. Self-care activities are just as important as all of those life and work goals. Proper self-care helps us be more motivated and energetic to reach our goals.

Stress less.

A life planner designed to bring you less stress and more happiness.

Learn More

Acceptance is funny like that too. When we can accept our whole selves, we can feel good about the good, the bad, and the ugly. In our interview, Mary Beth said, "the Helm Planner allows us to pause and consider our wellness amid other tasks. Bringing the status of your wellness into the forefront of your mind can only benefit your mental health. The planner is a supportive resource in doing so.” This speaks to me and how we can slowly accept where we are, who we are, and what we're doing so we can feel good about ourselves instead of solely focusing on that long-term goal and being a whole new person.

Mary Beth said something else that got me thinking about how self-care, self-esteem, and mental health are tangled together. She said, "self-esteem is typically described as someone's overall emotional evaluation of their worth. Therefore, healthy self-esteem levels are a protective factor when it comes to preserving your mental health. It's also something you can strengthen in therapy if you struggle with self-acceptance, self-trust, and self-worth.” This statement right here had me thinking that I was on to something about this small steps often approach to building acceptance and self-esteem. Mary Beth's comment also drew me back to the idea behind the Helm Planner, that through simple planning and gentle reminders, mental health can quickly become a higher priority daily.

Planning out obligations, scheduling date nights, and ensuring all responsibilities are covered across everyday life is not easy. Taking the time to utilize the Helm Planner can make a big difference as you lean into prioritizing self-care, reviewing your accomplishments, taking care of your whole self, and carving out time to do the things that bring joy energy into your life.

My favorite thing that Mary Beth talked about with me was the importance of social connection—having people around us see ourselves as we are and accept ourselves. Mary Beth said, "We're meant to live in community and feel a sense of belonging. Other methods of boosting self-esteem include connecting to your values, avoiding comparison with others, preserving healthy boundaries, and instituting self-care practices."

So, schedule a coffee date with your best friends, plan a friend's holiday get-together, spend some time with people who accept you as you are, and you'll be able to grow that positive self-concept. Feel good about who you are without having to change your body, your personality, your life. Feel good by paying attention to the things that are already great about you. Let the Helm Planner show you how great you already are.

P.S. Mary Beth is currently accepting new patients and you can contact her using her contact form or by scheduling an appointment.

Want more great content on Mental Wellness? Then be sure to follow Mary Beth on Instagram, listen to the latest episode of her podcast or head over to her website to learn more about her practice.

Instagram: @yourjourneythrough | Podcast: My Therapist Thinks

Website: https://www.yourjourneythrough.com

Reference:

Merriam-Webster. (2021). Acceptance definition & meaning. Merriam-Webster. Retrieved November 26, 2021, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/acceptance.

Merriam-Webster. 2021. "self-esteem". [online] Available at: <https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-esteem> [Accessed 26 November 2021].

Baratta, M., 2021. Self Care 101. [online] Psychology Today. Available at: <https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/skinny-revisited/201805/self-care-101> [Accessed 26 November 2021].

Acceptance & Self-Esteem